P to the double O P
18th September 2009
In the past 30 hours I have changed more poopy diapers that I thought one human ass could ever produce: 9.
N.I.N.E.
How can a being so tiny possible produce so much poop? Seriously. She has crapped out more in volume than she weighs.
And she’s completely fine. It’s not a virus. She has no fever. She happy as a pig in, well, you know.
Except, of course, when I’m changing her. Because after poop #5 yesterday, she was getting right pissed at being swept away from her toys to be changed yet again. You know those diaper changes, when babies arch their backs and try to turn on their bellies and kick their ankles you have in a Vulcan Death Grip because if even one foot goes flying you just know the entire wall will be splattered in soft, stinky, well, you know?
That is the definition of an angry hornet.
The only reason the entire family has not come down with E.coli poisoning is because of the entire box of wipes I’ve gone through, and enough hand washing to form dry cracks on the tops of my hands.
And not that I want her tender behind to be exposed to any more wiping, but I tell you: I’d be obscenely happy if Alice shared some of this poop glory with her father while I’m out tonight and tomorrow morning. I’d paid my poop dues for the next, oh, ever.
Possibly related posts:
Yuk! Doesn’t sound like fun! Andrew regularly poops at least 3 times a day, sometimes more, rarely less. On those ‘less’ days – he saves it up for the next day! And watch out! Eric was the same way.
I say feed her a little more of whatever you’ve been giving her, and send her Eric’s way! Dad’s deserve to share the fun too!
of course you realize she’s done now. She’ll be done for two or three days. That’s just the way it goes …
I don’t even remember the last time N changed a dirty diaper. Not that he wouldn’t, if the opportunity presented itself, it’s just that Avery times her foulings for when it’s all me. Or my mom. My mom changes her fair share of stink bombs.
Actually, Easton pooped 4 times yesterday and 4 times the day before…poor little red bum – and he acts JUST the same as Alice – is just livid at me for taking him away from whatever he’s doing!
This post made me laugh out loud! Thanks for my morning funnies!
I just read this to my husband…and we both laughed throughout your write up…it is good to hear that someone else experiences similar stories to our family..it is never ending!! Thanks for sharing and with so much humour!
Pampers Wet Wipes are on sale this week at Walmart
(Part of their 15th Anniversary Sale)