Loss
15th April 2009
On my desktop we have a program called Rainlendar. It’s a (free!) calendar, event keeper and task manager.
My to-do list currently includes almost a dozen blog posts, from (finally) reviewing my strollers, cryptic ideas that say “surreal motherhood” and “pink ladies.”
But today, the list seems silly and insignificant.
Little Madeline has died. Little Thalon has died. Baby Kaylee continues to defy the odds, but will surely pass away soon.
I just…can’t today. My heart is filled with sadness.
There is little more to say that the parenting blogsphere has not said. It is tragic and heartbreaking and horrifying and unnecessary. It makes me ask once again how there can possibly be a God in this world.
I want to wrap Lucy and Alice in my arms and breathe them in and never ever let them go.
What’s scary is that the Earth-moving force of a mother’s love is still not enough to protect her children.
What more of a reminder do we need to be grateful for each day, each smile and tantrum and murmured soft kiss?
Do something kind today in these precious babies’ memories. Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Give. Love.
Possibly related posts:
These stories break my heart into a million pieces. Also, Victoria Stafford, the little 8 year old from Woodstock who has been missing for a week. It makes me so angry that something like that could, and does, happen to our children.
It definitely makes us stop for a moment and realize what is important and what isn’t.
It is very sad…. What was wrong with Thalon?? I see Maddie had health problems from birth, but I saw nothing on Thalon… And Baby Kaylee is the epitomy of a miracle baby… It does make you take time and thank God for our lovely children…
It is only when you become a parent do these stories break your heart into little peices. Before you are a parent you hear about it and think yes it is sad that is happened but when you become a parent it breaks your heart because it could be your child. You learn to take each day for granted and hug and kiss your children a little longer. Thank you for posting this I will give both my kids longer hugs tonight.
It is a living nightmare.
I have just been on the web for over an hour reading every blog and site that mentions these two angels. I am confused at the passing of Thalon, SIDS perhaps? Sad regardless… Absolutly DEVASTATING!!!
I couldn’t help but go and sit on the edge of the bed and listen to the soft breathing of my angel, healthy and fast asleep in the warmth of his bed and my love…. xo
sadly, i won’t find out why my child died for another 3-6 months due to toxicology and cystology reports and quite frankly, it doesn’t matter because he is gone. never to smile to me, never to walk around and eat dust bunnies off my dirty floor and most of all to give me great big hugs.
i’m hurt, mand and inconsolable.
Gorillabuns:
I’m sooo terribly sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I wish there was some way to ease your pain.
Carly:
I sobbed reading about those poor children who left this earth entirely too soon. My kids were a little frightened seeing Mommy crying and I’m tearing up as I write this (not good while at work). I hugged my kids extra last night and this morning. My heart breaks for those poor Mothers. I’m so sorry.
my heart breaks for the parents of Thalon & Madeline. I can’t imagine what they are going through, my thoughts and prayers are with them during this difficult time.
I have to second Lisa H’s comment, well said. I feel bad even admitting it, but it’s like my heart was only turned on to full once I had my daughter. Before I would have felt empathy for these families, but now I really understand that I can’t even imagine what they are going through and my heart just goes out to them.
I agree with Lisa H..before I had my son, I would hear such news and it would seem so sad. But now, I just breakdown with sorrow. Our prayers are with the parents and hoping for the best for baby Kaylee.
It pains my heart to hear of so much loss. I know only too well what the days ahead will be like for these families and that makes my heart ache for them. It’s been over 4 months now since we suffered our own loss and in some ways you do get to the point where you have to live your life but you never forget and you never really get over it. Sending prayers up for all those who are dealing with the loss of their precious children.
very powerful words. thank you.