When cookies and chocolate reign supreme: Thanks, Christmas
5th February 2009
I know several of you (Carolyn and Jen O. especially) can relate to this, and have great ideas.
From Yvette, via email:
I was wondering if there are any ideas for a very picky eater.
My daughter, 3.5, does not eat anything except cookies and chocolate, and when she can’t have these she won’t eat anything except some fruits and some milk. It seems Christmas has made the situation so much worse and I don’t know how to get back on track. She does not eat any veggies or meat; her diet is bread milk and fruit.
Are there any Moms who can help with advice, please!
Luckily we have been blessed with a great eater in Lucy. Although she will turn her nose up at things, especially at dinner, we find, she will try almost anything and eats well through the day. I hope Alice is the same.
But Lucy also LOVES chocolate and candy (a friend of my Mom’s bought her those red marshmallow hearts last week, and my daughter proclaimed with vigor: “These are my favourite candies EVER!”), but she knows they are special treats. And she only gets them if she’s eaten a good portion of lunch/dinner.
Bread (as long as it’s whole grain and not refined white), milk and fruit doesn’t sound that bad. It could be worse. She’s getting the protein and calcium her body really needs to grow.
Yvette doesn’t mention if her daughter eats cheese and yogurt, which I’d be pushing, along with other dairy foods including cottage cheese. Pasta would probably go over well if she likes bread? Tomato sauce is a great carrier for shredded veggies as a way into picky mouths.
I’ve heard that smoothies are a fun (for toddlers) and easy way to sneak all sorts of stuff into the frustrating little jerks darlings, too.
And I think there’s a line of vitamins tailored for specific eating habits (milk haters etc.)?
I’ve read that toddlers, because they are growing more independent and aware of their (perceived) power, like to control what they can (food, sleep, routines) because they’re starting to become very aware of what they can’t (schedules, parents, siblings, life — oh the drama). I know this doesn’t help fix the problem, but it might help you understand why it’s happening.
Good luck. I’m sure there are lots of you with tips to share? Or similar problems to vent?
Possibly related posts:
My son who is turning 4 in a few months has decided to be one of those picky eaters now (he still loves pasta, milk products, fruit and veggies…so it is not all that bad). He was a great eater up until about 6 months ago. Now he is picky about the colour, the texture and the smell. It is driving me nuts!!! However I am assuming it is a stage that he is going through. He will not even try new foods now and has backed away from some of his previous favourites. My daughter loves everything that we offer her and will even try my husbands spicy foods. So while I have no advice to give, I am happy to hear that I am not alone with this!
Waving my hand frantically over here – as we too have an extremely picky eater who absolutely refuses to try anything new. Occassionaly I can convince him to try something but 9/10 times he hates it. My guy is 4.5 and was once a decent eater but that went on the wayside about 3 years ago. Not only is he picky, but he just isn’t a big eater. As frustrating as it is, I have tried really hard not to make it a battle as I too graduated from the pickiest eater club and clearly remember battling it out with my mom (and yes my mom is getting some satisfaction in all this!.
All the books/information I’ve read say that they don’t need a lot to survive and that they will eat when they are hungry. My guy is a carb junkie – loves bread and butter, crackers, pasta, cereal, so when he doesn’t like what I’ve made for supper, I will offer him a bowl of cereal or bread instead. I’ve given up on the idea of giving him a typical meal. I have also hidden some veggies a la the Deceptively Delicious cookbook (I’ve put pureed veggies in the tomatoe sauce, flaxseed in the pancake batter). My latest trick though is I make these egg/cheese/toasted sandwiches for him and use cookie cutters and cut them into shapes. I never thought he would ever go for it but I tried it one night and it was a huge hit! I have a bunch of them so I let him choose which one he wants. The other thing I’ve learned is to limit the “good” food, i.e. all the prepackaged food that is marketed to kids, hot dogs. I didn’t stock a lot of it in our house before but I found that once my guy had a taste for it he was less inclined to eat the better stuff. Can’t wait to hear what others suggest!
It’s hard. Lexy’s my vegetarian/ham-a-saurus and Caity’s my carnivore.
with Lexy she used to only eat chicken. What’s for dinner Mom? “Chicken” (fish, ham, beef etc.). Now she loves fish and could eat ham until it’s coming out her ears. Beef is also called “Ham” so she’ll eat it. She’s on this kick from school “Is this healthy? i only want to eat healthy things because then I’ll grow” – yeah sure kid, it’s healthy, now eat it …
Things that I know she doesn’t like we’ve tried saying, you’ve had that many times before and you LOVED it. She’ll then try it and usually ends up liking it.
She also just ate pasta and tomato sauce with cheese on top for months.
they go through phases. It’s usually nothing to worry about, they outgrow it. You can try to re-introduce foods over time.
Yes, Flintstones has a line of “fussy eater” vitamins – but the PC store brand is cheaper and just as effective. Just make sure you watch the minimum age. With the chewables often they start at 2, some at 4. Not only is the dose an issue, but the chewable part is too – potential choking hazard. We just started Caity on the 2 year old – they’re huge and we mimic her chewing “chew chew chew Caity”.
I have a 3 year old who has never ate meat, might have tried a vegetable once, and survives solely on grains, dairy and fruit (if she could survive on choclolate she would)! Carly is right — I can totally relate.
This is NOT a 3-year-old power thing with her. Starting from rice cereal she was never a great solids eater (good nurser – just not a good eater). Thank goodness she’s my second or I would have been completely stressed, but because I tossed my parenting books after my first I get over it with a glass of wine in the evening
Okay, so I have talked to my Dr. about it. Pearl loves dairy and it seems like Yvette’s daughter does too. This is good. Animal fats are important, so whatever you can do in that regard is a good thing. Chocolate milk and yoghurt are Pearl’s dairy. Nestle’s chocolate syrup is now fortified with iron — a great addition for kids like ours Yvette!
The best thing we do for our peace of mind was recommended by a pediatrician. Pearl gets a can of Enfagrow almost every evening. This way I know that she gets her calories and nutrients and I don’t stress about the rest of the day. When you see the price you may faint, but for $2.50 a day it is reassuring.
Quite frankly, Daycare has helped immensely. Pearl is willing to try stuff there that she would not entertain at home. They worked at her sitting at the table first, then tolerating the food in her presence, we are at a point where touching the food to her lip is worth a high-five when I pick her up (and she is excited to tell me — huge accomplishment) Every once in a while she will actually try something new, resulting
in high-fives all around.
This is why I know it isn’t a power struggle about the food (although besides me she’s the most stubborn girl I know), she is so very proud when she reaches a milestone with a new food.
If she ever gets up the courage to actually eat meat there will be balloons – lots of them. Several weeks ago she gagged at the smell of chili at daycare — yesterday she touched it to her lip. I’m not calling to order the balloons yet, but I am finally seeing the mylar at the end of the tunnel.
I’m a firm believer of not giving your children only what they like. Ayven has his favourites too, and he has gone through many phases off and on of not wanting to eat certain things…we still struggle for him to eat meat. What we have done, that our doctor has advised us to do, is we give him about 3 or 4 small portions of things to choose from. He gets the dinner I made, we NEVER make him a different dinner, I think doing this makes your child believe they don’t have to try anything new because they’ll get what they like anyways.
Along with that, he’ll have maybe a small bowl of fruit, maybe some cheerios, it depends on the child’s age.
For 3.5 years old, there is NO reason to need to give her a different meal. Let’s say you make chicken and some rice and veggies, well put all three in front of her. Offer her if she wants to maybe add a sauce with her rice or a sauce that she likes to dip the chicken in.
If Ayven will not eat what is in front of him, then he doesn’t eat and about an hour later we try again. At some point he does eat. He may choose to pick around the chicken and only eat the rice, and that’s fine.
I just think giving them what they like is not helping the situation at all! It makes it worse.
Also try maybe making dinner fun. Go to the store and get ingredients to make homemade pizzas and let her make her own little homemade pizza. Same with little pita’s.
I think now it wil be a little difficult in general because you’ve probably allowed her to only eat exactly what she wants, therefore she knows she doesn’t have to try anything new. So I think it may be hard to get her to try, but being firm will help and you have to start somewhere. It might make for a few frustrating dinners along with some temper tantrums, but it has to be done.
If she likes yogurt, then give her dinner and offer her eating a few bites then she can have some yogurt. If she likes bread, incorporate it into some meals, but limit how much of it she can eat. So maybe only one slice of bread with her pasta or whatever it is that you make.
Eventually she will realize that she can only eat what is given to her, and that one piece of bread will soon become not filling and not that appetizing and she’ll venture onto something else.
Hang in there, I think every parent goes through these phases with their children. Just stay firm, don’t give in and definitly don’t give her just what she wants!
I have to let you all in on a little secret. This book is amazing……..
Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food (Spiral-bound)
by Jessica Seinfeld (Author)
http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780061558306/Deceptively_Delicious/index.aspx
The recipes are GREAT!!!!!!
http://browseinside.harpercollins.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780061251344
I have no good advice because my kid eats everything, literally (raw onions, squid, LOVES olives, fish, spicy) but they do have those cute gummy bear vitamins now!
Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms
I just wanted to add that I think that there is a diffenence between a “picky” eater (one who would rather have certain things) and a child who does not eat.
My daughter is my second and our third. We are not afraid of temper tantrums and there is nothing that she can pull on us that we’ve not already seen. My 10 year old will eat lobster, indian, thai, fish…he is always willing to try a new food. I went through “the picky eater” stage with him and a lot of the techniques suggested here were used with success. My 3 year old helps make dinner, goes grocery shopping with us, and is happy to join us at dinner time.
Unfortunately my 3 year old is slow to getting up the courage to try new foods. Snack time at daycare at one time caused her great anxiety. Only recently have she started adding new foods to her repetoire. She has actually worked up the courage to raise a spoon to her mouth, only to gag and throw-up when it is under her nose. She loves ice cream, but cannot be bribed by the promise of it if she tries something (or the threat of losing it if she doesn’t)…and we never give in if trying something is the condition. I want to emphasize trying because I don’t want her to think that because she was willing to try something we will force her to eat the food.
I refuse to make my dinner table a battleground. Supper time is family time. It is the time we come together and talk about our day and learn about eachother — much more important than forcing her to eat something. (It may be important to note that I am huge on bounderies. My kids do not rule my house. They do not touch things that are not theirs. They use their manners mostly.)
Yvette — hang in there. It won’t last forever. I take solace in knowing that my daughter won’t be serving peanut butter sandwiches with sprinkles, yoghurt and chocolate milk for dinner on her wedding day.
Thanks so much to all your advice, I am sure I will most certenly try some things. My daughter eats everything at day care there are no problems and I even ask for the receipe of certain meals but she won’t eat them at home. No way, she goes hungry to bed . We had to keep her out of day care for the last 3 weeks because her little brother will have surgery and I did not want anybody sick. She lost 2 pounds thats why I am worried about her.
When we try to bribe her with dessert she will say “I don’t need dessert” she is otherwise healthy, lets jus thope it is a phase and goes by soon. Thanks again, it is really nice to hear other moms and dads have similar issues.
[...] kids to eat vegetables and other healthy foods: An excellent follow-up to our discussion the other day about picky eaters. I love the tips about making food fun (Lucy loves when we make [...]