• Alice probably has the stomach virus that Lucy had, except it’s coming out, well, the other end. It can take a few weeks to clear out of her system, thus the green poops and irritability
• In yet another parenting milestone, we have to gather a stool sample just to be sure it isn’t a milk allergy (highly unlikely, but my doctor is very thorough). I figure I’ve carried dirty diapers around in my purse before, so a smear of poop in a card in an envelope isn’t that far off
• I most definitely do not have post partum depression (I never suspected I did, nor did Eric, who has been on the lookout for it since I gave birth). The doctor thinks I was — rightly — just very frustrated with an obviously irritated baby…especially combined with a toddler in tow. Her words: “Every mother everywhere hits that spot, and ones who say they haven’t are lying.” She, like y’all, congratulated me for getting help, and said how great it is that I have such close family
• She also encouraged regular time away from the kids (check — thank you, Durham Mom’s Night Out!), to continue to drink and eat well, exercise and have intimate relations with my husband
• I asked if Eric paid her to say that last one, and she just wiggled her eyebrows. Do you know how excited my husband is now that the doctor has ordered us to have sex? The man is strutting

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2. The Others
3. Mystery solved
4. It was just a stethoscope, in case you were wondering why the glass exploded in your house
5. Hair help