Better.
24th February 2009
There are three words that I love most in the world. I’ve tried to attain them my whole life (thank you, Mom and Pa), and I try to use them on Alice and Lucy each day.
Proud. Brave. Strong.
My gratitude to you for putting those words back in my vocabulary yesterday, even in the midst of despair and guilt and sadness.
Motherhood can be incredibly isolating, don’t you think? The 3 a.m. feedings, the toddler meltdowns, the poopsplosions, the talking back – all of it can feel like it’s only happening to you, at that moment. It’s easy to feel alone despite the fact you’re so very not alone with darling and demanding children.
So when the time comes when you lose it, just a bit, it’s incredibly comforting to know you are not as alone as you think. There’s power in that. And acceptance. A semblance of peace.
That’s why I’ve written here, almost every day, for almost four years. I write for my girls, but I write for me, too. And all of you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Possibly related posts:
Carly – have read your blog for 4 years and of course really enjoyed your honesty and funny tales- both of my kids are 19 (boy) and 22(girl) respectively – but I still distinctly remember feeling as you are feeling (punched a wall a few times if you must know and scared the crap out of my hubby – we’ve now been married 30 years – so he is used to everything!)
- but as they say- time passes way too quickly – and before you know it – your kids will be teens – this will be but a memory!!!! PROMISE!
Janice Richard
I hear ya Carly especially on feeling alone with the toddler meltdowns and attitude problems… I was just saying to hubby the other day that you always feel like you are the only one going through this until one of your friends 3- year olds, has a meltdown. That happened here, and Mya looked at me and said “what’s wrong with her momma??” So it is nice to know, that no 3 year old is without tantrums and attitude…
How nice to hear from you, Janice. Thank you so much for your sweet words.
My friends with older kids, and my parents/aunts/uncles tell me this all the time, too. So I try to cherish the bad along with the good — I’m sure one day I will be pining for even these hard days!
I am absolutely right there with you. Today in a restaurant my almost-3-year-old was lying on the floor under her chair crying and I had to just ignore her because I had no more patience left and she was beyond reason by then (and wouldn’t be picked up either – I’d tried everything). She calmed down to eat a few bites then it was the absolute end of the universe when I cut her egg without asking her if I could. The lunch ended with me carrying her out by one arm (child dangling like a doll), boots in the other arm and passing her off to her uncle outside. Some days I get eye strain from rolling my eyes so much and saying “dear God …”. I hope 3 is much better than the tail end of 2!
oh ya, and I had a friend who’s kid had green poops (and more throwing up) whenever the (breastfeeding) mom ate chocolate. Have you upped your chocolate intake since Valentine’s Day?
Yes, actually, I did OD on chocolate last weekend, and I talked about that with my doctor because my MIL mentioned Eric had a hard time with it, and I’d read about it.
But she thinks that would be out of my system by now. And the green poops actually started the Friday before I started to stuff my face with Ferraro Rocher and carmel Hershey’s Kisses!
Thank goodness, because who wants to cut out chocolate? The horror…
I’m sure that would qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. My hubby tried to get all concerned when it looked like I might have had Gestational Diabetes with Caity, he told me that I’d wouldn’t “be allowed” to have chocolate until she was born.
I think the look in my eyes made him back off … either that or the growling that ensued …
I will knock my own mother down to get chocolate when I’m PMSing … lol