Juuuu-lia
4th October 2007
It’s been two months since Lucy started at her new daycare providers, and I must say I have a bit of a crush on Julia because she is SO AWESOME.
Lucy is so tired on daycare days because she is constantly on the go-go-go. Julia takes the kids outside every. single. day., no matter what the weather or season. I’ve brought more dirty clothes home from there in the past two months than I did the entire time she was at Debbie’s. And it’s because Lucy plays in the dirt, or sits in a puddle, or gets crafty stuff on her outfit. It is an absolute requirement that the kids have an extra set of clothes on hand, or Lucy would be coming home like her Daddy each day.
She comes home with crafts a few times a week — which says a lot considering Lucy is only there three days. Right now we have a finger-painted apple, an abstract pastel work on 8×10, and what I assume is supposed to be a turkey on brown butchers paper gracing our fridge, which Lucy loves to point at and say “Eeeeeeee!” and clap her hands in congratulations. She also has the most adorable turkey headband to wear to Thanksgiving dinner this weekend.
One thing that I was nervous about at first was outings. Like strapping babies in carseats, leaving the house and going somewhere outings a few times a month. Then one happened that I didn’t fully know about (my fault for not reading the
easel by the door to get the week’s events), and then it was over, and it was fine. Julia’s been looking after kids for more than 12 years, and taking them on outings for 12 years, which is 11 years more than I have, so I just have to trust her.
Check out my Goosey at a local apple orchard, feeding goats, munching apples and giving her serious face in the hay. What a fun day for her! And how sweet is it that Julia took the time to take photos of each child and print them out for the parents?
She is still a bit distant in the same way Debbie was, which I’m starting to think is just part of the daycare survival package 
from a caregiver perspective. But I can tell she loves what she does, and delights in the kids and their antics. Every day Julia has a little story about Lucy (usually involving Lucy loving to run super fast outside), which really helps bridge the 8-hour gap that we are apart.
Her house is warm and inviting and filled to the brim with toys, she cooks great meals and most importantly: Lucy is always smiling and playing when I pick her up. That, more than anything, is the sign we have found another Faux Mummy.
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Lucy looks so cute feeding the goats!
I wanted to quickly comment on what you said about Julia being a bit distant.
I can only speak for myself, but in my case it does take me awhile to “warm up” to new parents. It’s not because I am standoffish or anything like that but it’s an awkward role we daycare givers have.
We are spending a lot of time with your child. We know we probably do a lot of things completely different than you do, but that’s the way we do it “here”. We wonder how you will handle the fact that we can’t and won’t become you. We may feel awkward when we are sharing your child’s day with you, because we don’t want to come across like we are having a great time with your child, doing all the things you wish you could do during the day and you’re losing out. As a matter of fact I have never, ever told a parent when their child has rolled over, sat unassisted, crawled, pulled themselves up to standing, tooled around furniture, taken steps, said words, etc until they tell me first. I cannot imagine what it would be like to miss those milestones. So I keep mum if I see it first and let the parent experience the joy of that “first” time if the first time unfortunately occurs in my home.
It’s feels a lot like walking on a tight rope until the waters have all been tested and you get to know who we are and trust us and we get to know who you are and how you react to the day to day.
I also have found over the years that it’s quite a dance trying to keep the relationship on a business level for the business end and not let the developing friendship make the business end uncomfortable. I’ve rarely ever worked with someone that we didn’t end up becoming great friends. However, I find it hard to talk money matters and other issues that are not exactly the types of things you discuss with your friends once the relationship crosses the line between employer/employee to friends.
I don’t know if that makes a lot of sense, it’s almost 2 a.m.! My quick response as usual was anything but quick!
Naturally I have no clue if Julia at all like I do at times. I just thought I’d share my perspective on the early weeks/months of working with a new family.
Good night~
Poppy, I so appreciate you writing this. It helps so much to hear from people on the other side, and everything you said makes lots of sense.
Thank you so much!
Does she literally take them outside every single day no matter what the weather or season? Like in 40 below? Or 40 above? Or a wind-lashing hail and snow storm? Or a thunderstorm?
I’m just being cheeky. I’m sure Julia draws the line somewhere. I think it’s great that they get outside so often because, for a toddler, there’s nothing worse than being stuck inside all day.
My mom doesn’t get too close to her kids’ parents, either. She’s run into trouble in the past when she’s gotten too close. Parents taking advantage of her by leaving the kids until all hours of the night or not paying her for weeks on end. And this leaves her in a sticky situation trying to balance business and friendship.
I can totally understand that, Jen. And it’s always helpful to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.