The other day I thought to myself, "Geez, Carly, how great is it that you’ve breastfed for almost a year and had no major problems? What a wonderful, bonding, lovely experience. Yay boobs." And I gave them each a little pat.

(Y’all can see where this is going, right?)

Sunday I was running errands and started to feel coldhot. Like that fever feeling where your skin is hot but you’re really cold? Also my body ached like tiny elves had tapped every skin pore with tiny hammers, then run over the pore in mini SUVs.

And my right breast was really sore, red, and hot.

Sore boob + flu-like symptoms = f*@#.

There are two illnesses from breastfeeding that have scared me from the start: thrush and mastitis. Thrush is yeast in the breast, and if you’ve had a yeast infection in the place most women get them, you can imagine how lovely thrush is on your breasts. Plus it’s a bitch to get rid of because baby gets it in her mouth and lovingly passes it back to you.

Mastitis is an infection or obstruction in the breast, and, I think, scarier, as it can lead to an abcess in the breast. And abcesses need to be drained. WITH NEEDLES.

The best part about mastitis is that it can lead to thrush, since mastitis has to be treated with antibiotics, and antibiotics can (and for, me, always do) give you yeast infections.

Guess what I have?!

It’s not a good sign when you unclip the latch of your nursing bra, pull down the cup, and your doctor says, "Oooooh, that’s bad" upon seeing your inflamed boob. If rightie could have, I think she’d have pouted and shed a little tear.

So I’m popping four giant horse pill antibiotics a day to treat the mastitis, along with three acidophilus pills in an attempt to ward off the Thrush Monster. After less than 24 hours on the drugs, my breast and body thankfully already feel better.

Lucy had a much better visit with the doctor: she’s 21 lbs., and 29.5".

Possibly related posts:

1. Ouch! and What a relief
2. It’s not surprising, really: As a baby she saw a boy with brown skin in a Baby Einstein video and made the sign for bear
3. Lucy stats and, shit, my right side is cursed
4. Growling eratic sugar boobs eating dragonflies
5. Thrush help