I’m trying to be sympathetic to the fact that you are smushed into a very tight space right now, and it’s only going to get worse over the next 11 weeks.

But I don’t think that is any excuse for you to be playing with my bladder. It is not a toy. It may feel like one to you, as I’m sure it’s mighty boring to just float around in my belly all day with not much to do but grow.

Also? Those ribs on my left side? I’m sure they feel very entertaining to you, all hard and smooth, but they protect my lungs and unfortunately I need to breathe. They are no place for your wee feet.

See you soon!
Love Mummy

ps — please stop making me so fat. Your dad saw my chart at the doctor’s yesterday and now calls me chubby mummy. Please poop on him as soon as you can.

Possibly related posts:

1. Dear Lucy,
2. Glamorous times on the toilet
3. Yes, that is me you smell
4. It’s not surprising, really: As a baby she saw a boy with brown skin in a Baby Einstein video and made the sign for bear
5. Dear Carly, in July: